Remembering Sister Bernadette Marie
Sister Bernadette Marie was born Sharon Sue Stypa on November 25, 1949, in Black Rock, New York, the only child of Aloysius and Irene (Kucznur) Stypa. After high school she worked as an office assistant in the engineering department at the Bell Telephone Company in Buffalo, New York. Shortly after the death of her mother when Sister was in her late thirties, Sister Bernadette Marie had a major conversion experience which led her to completely change her life. She made a pilgrimage to Medjugorje and Fatima, and while in Fatima visited a Dominican monastery. Sister was surprised to learn from the sisters there that there was a Dominican monastery back home in Buffalo. Sister Bernadette Marie had a desire to give herself to God in the contemplative life, but was not sure that she would be able to live it because Sister had lived such an active and social life up to that point. So she spent a year trying to live a quieter life, testing herself. When Sister completed the year, she came to the Dominican Monastery of Our Lady of the Rosary in Buffalo. Sister Bernadette Marie entered the monastery less than a month later, on September 18, 1988, at the age of 38. Entering at a later age than most candidates and only for the first time living a life of regular prayer, monastic life was a significant adjustment for her, but she persevered generously through the struggle and made her first profession of vows on March 24, 1991, and solemn profession on March 25, 1995. Sister served many roles in the monastery, at various times managing the finances and upkeep of the monastery, caring for guests, caring for the sick and elderly sisters, and assisting in the kitchen. Full of life and energy, she was generous by nature and always willing to lend a hand. She was an excellent cook! In the monastery, Sister Bernadette Marie was particularly known for her outstanding charity and faithful care of the sick and the elderly sisters in the infirmary; she was wonderful in her care of those who were dying.
Most people, however, knew Sister Bernadette Marie best in her role as an extern sister. Sister Bernadette Marie was blessed with a very outgoing, caring, and sensitive nature, which allowed her to connect easily and deeply with nearly everyone she came into contact with. When out grocery shopping, taking sisters to doctors’ appointments, or talking to the people who came to pray in the monastery chapel, she always had a word of encouragement or an offer of prayer. She took the heartache, sorrows, and intentions of all those she met to prayer, and faithfully carried those intentions with her throughout the day. She encouraged people to go to Confession, telling them, “The Lord forgave me; he’ll forgive you!” When Sister became sick, she was flooded with cards and messages from the many people she impacted in her life.
When the Buffalo monastery relocated to Heath, Ohio, in 2020, Sister Bernadette Marie faithfully kept in correspondence with many of those she had known as an extern in Buffalo, continuing to encourage and pray for them. When the monastery closed in 2023, Sister Bernadette Marie transferred here to the Monastery of Our Lady of the Rosary in Summit, New Jersey. In our monastery she continued her service as an extern sister, answered the community mail, and helped in many areas around the house, particularly liking to lend a hand with cleaning! While Sister Bernadette Marie was only a part of our community for a little over two years, she was a well-beloved part of our community; it felt to us like she had been with us much longer. Her small gestures of love and encouragement, her generosity, and her joyful vivacity and enthusiasm will be greatly missed. Sister Bernadette Marie was a beautiful example to us of humble simplicity, great charity, and concern for others, reflecting well her name and title: she lived the beautiful simplicity of St. Bernadette and the loving charity of Our Lady in the mystery of her Visitation to St. Elizabeth.
When Sister Bernadette Marie was diagnosed with late-stage, aggressive ovarian cancer in December, 2024, and was hospitalized for three weeks in early 2025, she knew and accepted that she would most likely die soon. Sister had made a complete fiat of her life, and God took her at her word. When she went into hospice during her stay at the hospital, Sister chose to go to Rosary Hill Home in Hawthorne, New York for patients with terminal cancer. There Sister received loving care from the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne. Sister Bernadette Marie suffered a great deal at the end of her life, entering into her own final passion as we celebrated the passion of Christ in Holy Week. She passed into the loving hands of God as we celebrated the joy of Christ’s Resurrection, dying peacefully on Easter Monday, April 21, 2025 at 12:40 p.m. Her funeral Mass was offered on Friday, April 25 and she is now buried in the cemetery within our monastery enclosure.